Happy New Year lovelies! May this year be the happier and healthier one for all of you. Not gonna lie, I’m not a natural writer. I find it hard to gather inspiration but I promise to work harder on it this year and communicate with you all more often through this medium. So after much thought, I decided to talk on the very familiar yet ignored topic – the beauty of reassurance. But here, we’ll put away the therapy concept as you already get to read and hear a lot about it. Se let’s get indulge more into pep talk sort of a thing. If you’re stressed, feeling low or struggling, I hope this blog helps a little.
Have you ever had moments where you were second guessing yourself for just about any situation? What about a fear or worry of doing or saying something wrong and losing important people from your life as a result? Or you are about to begin with something new in your professional career but scared because of the risk it holds? Being a woman, I know how I deal with the number of insecurities in everyday life. Even the smallest argument can put me to self doubt. Not trying to play any victim or sympathy card but just being honest here.
In such situations, no grand gestures, 2 hours of lecture, medical counseling works for me. All I personally need is solace from my loved ones. A warm hug, a heartwarming conversation (keeping aside all the logics and practicality), a genuine affirmation like “Everything will turn out fine, just hang in there”, I’m right here, whatever it is we’ll sort it out together”. I might sound silly but such things works like magic for me.
What is Reassurance in relationship
According to Mr. Google, this term defines a way to provide comfort, confidence and emotional security to a partner. And for the rarest of times, I totally concur with it. How easily we fear that our worst case scenario could come true. This vulnerability most often shows up in our closest relationships. The reason is that – more often than or not – this is also where it began. There are basically two causes why we need reassurance. One: Lack of sense of security or emotional unavailability of people. Two: Your own anxious thoughts that “humans aren’t to be relied upon or trusted”.
Asking for a little piece of validation can go a long way in helping us feel more secure and heard when we most need it.
A SMALL ADVICE
The phone rings and it’s Riya – she loves your dance and wants you to know that your performance is going to be great. She is certain of it. Now how many more days before you need another call for another reason? If we get hooked on reassurance, we often make this type of mistake. We’ll spend more time and energy looking for such comfort instead of focusing on our work and those that we seek to serve. Therefore, don’t get used to it. The people who are encouraging you today might not be there for you tomorrow.
There’s a beauty in reassurance but it can also trap us in a vicious cycle. So do not solely depend on it and make it a pattern or else it can lead to anxiety. Instead, try building other coping strategies. For example: doing something you enjoy like cooking, listening to music or podcast, getting outdoors, using relaxation exercises, reading, journaling, cuddling your pets and the list goes on.
Takeaways:
- While it is okay to be reassured in a relationship, it is also important to recognize how much might be too much.
- Don’t let this feeling convince you that it’s forever. You won’t always feel this way.
- So what, if they are just minor thoughts? Even they matter because they are affecting you mentally.
- Be your own cheer leader first rather than relying on others forever.
Closing thoughts
A reminder: while partner providing comfort is not a bad thing, being able to reassure yourself can be powerful as well. Whenever you self doubt, think that you’ve overcome a lot more than this. You are beautiful, worthy and strong and all is as it should be.
To be honest, I myself feel much better after penning down such write ups. I mean it would be a bit unfair to rack my partner’s brain all the time so thought of torturing y’all 😉 Thank you so much for reading. See you in the comment section!