Before I start this topic let me clear one important point. Though grudge and resentment are similar in books but there’s a bit difference between the two in real world. The former is a deep feeling of dissatisfaction due to betray and is always directed towards people. On the other hand, resentment is a feeling of painful bitterness due to any unfair practice and unlike a grudge, it can be directed towards concepts in addition to people.
We all have experienced hurt and pain in our lives. Oh! I’ve also been the victim of this. There was a time when I was drowned with betray, questions and negative thoughts. But fortunately, it did not last for long.
Have you ever thought why do we hold grudges when they are quite painful to maintain? Why do we keep hurting ourselves by living in past experiences of pain which prevent new experiences from being able to happen? What keeps us stuck when we want to let go and above all, does it really make sense to hold such kind of intense bitterness?
CONSEQUENCES
The worst part towards holding hard feelings is that you gradually turn into a bitter person and start yourself wrapping so much up in the negative thoughts that you can’t enjoy the present. A small fight can literally ruin any relation if we don’t allow ourselves to forget and let go. Sometimes people spend ages by hanging onto a particular argument. Even though they may have strong desire and put in concerted effort to move on and start with afresh but they fail. Few things are more daunting than having to speak in front of a large crowd. This issue is one of them. You really can’t express how hard it is to let go for some people.
But what’s the point? You had an argument with someone. You furiously said lot of cruel words which weren’t needed. Now, instead of sorting out, you both decide to part your ways even when you never thought of doing so. And then there comes a time when two of you indulge in thinking what went so wrong that we took this big step? Mental pain is the worst pain one could ever deal with and I hope it is clear after reading the consequences.
HOW TO GET RID OF THIS FEELING?
Grudges don’t make us feel better or heel our hurt. Here are some ways to get a grip on the pain and find the strength to let it go:
- The best way to forget this bitter feeling is to start rewinding good moments happened. Instead of wasting time in recalling why did they do that, start thinking about the good times.
- Acknowledge the problem and understand that everyone feel a pang of remorse. Some people are unable to apologize or may not fully understand that the person they hurt may need to hear one.
- Don’t dwell on it and stop doing a continuous discussion on that topic.
- Understand that not every person is meant to stay. They came, played their role and went back. So take it as a learning experience instead of blaming anyone. Walk away with the better understanding that can help you let go of the issue.
- I know some disputes can never find settlement. And forgiving isn’t the easiest to do especially when you’ve endured a lot of pain and hurt, but it’s the only way to live a peaceful life without disappointments. So forgive and move on.
We are young. We make impulsive decisions. Many of us spend most of our time in thinking what went wrong, instead how to make it right. I was alike you. But not anymore. I understood that you can begin to free yourself when you begin to forgive. And I’ve learned this from my super hero,” My Father”. He has made me realize that we should always choose to create our own healing with or without apology.
So if you’re dealing with such kind of hatred just ask yourself, Is all this making any sense ?
I’m curious what you people think! Feel free to sound off below in the comment section. And remember, no hard feelings for anyone 🙂